Paving the Road

Welcome to Rise and See. I'm Jenna Knaetzer, and my cohost Joshua Carney is here. I do not believe that you were here by accident. I believe that you were either here because you know us as individuals, you were looking for hope, or you were divinely sitting here. But with all that being said, we're going to do a little bit of a breakdown of our stories, a little bit of teasers.

And then we're also going to share our hearts, our vision, and what you can expect from Rise and See. So with that being said, my name is Gina Knaetzer. I live in Stephenville, Texas with my husband and our three year old little miracle baby. My story is one that goes way back before I was ever even born, really. And then, when I was five, I was diagnosed with type one diabetes.

I walked out of the hospital giving myself my own insulin shots because I am hardheaded at nature. And that has definitely shown throughout my years. And then later on going into when I was just a few months shy of my twelfth birthday, I began being sexually abused by someone who was supposed to be very close to me, someone that I really loved and looked up to. And that really shaped and formed who I became as a young adult and in my teen years. You know, I was born and raised in church.

I knew who God was from a very early age. I watched my grandparents wholeheartedly serve him. My uncle was the pastor at our church in Killeen. And so I was raised around the Holy Spirit and I was filled with the Holy Spirit as a young girl. But going into that trauma, it really made me run from the one that I should have been running to.

And so I don't want to get too far into my testimony just yet, but just so that happened. And then going into my pregnancy in '21, I lost my vision after almost dying twice with our baby. And the doctors gave me no hope of ever seeing again. And by the grace of God, I have regained twentysixty vision back in my left eye. And I'm holding onto the promise of fully seeing again.

And my cohost, Joshua Carney, our stories are so different, but so very similar. And it was only by divine appointment that our paths have crossed. And watching God piece all these pieces together and watching him connect all the dots has truly just been so humbling, and it's just been so rewarding. But with that being said, I don't wanna get too much into my testimony just yet. I do want to bounce it back over to Joshua and let him share a little bit of his story and where he's he's coming from.

So, Joshua, you take it over.

I mean, jeez, Jenna saves them for the rest of us on this podcast. No. That's incredible. Your story is absolutely amazing. I can't wait for everyone to fully hear fully hear from what you've survived, what you've come through, how God led you, and how you and I met.

I mean, it's a crazy turn of events, but it led us here. You know, my backstory is I was born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Grew up in the outdoors, love hunting, fishing. Still to this day, that's what I love. I mean, that's why I turned into a career.

So I mean, I absolutely love what I do, but it was embedded inside of me as a kid, you know, to being outdoors. Growing up, I grew up in a church. I mean, I was Baptist Church and I grew up in a Catholic school. So I had a little bit of both sides of the sort when it came to, religion and things like that. But at the age of 13, I went turkey hunting for the first time with my dad.

And my dad shot me. I watched my dad shoot me with a 12 gauge double up buckshot. Body went completely numb, wringing in ears. My dad carried me out. And I remember saying, know, God, just watch over my dad.

You know, I knew I was dying. I mean, I died on the operating table twice, you know, by the grace of God, he brought me back. And from there, I knew that my life had changed. We'll dive into a little bit more of that story as we continue. But fast forwarding, I grew up and I made a career out of being in the outdoor industry.

I had a successful career hunting, traveling, doing motivational speaking, TV shows, you know, the whole nine yards made a very, I turned a tragedy into a triumph. That's still what we're doing here today. In 2022, doctor performed a surgery on my back and I went from a paraplegic to a quad. So I spent so much time trying to get mobility back of my arms and just get my life back. I mean, I lost or at the time, I thought I lost everything.

And god placed so many incredible things in front of me because of what I thought was a tragedy. You know? So turning that into triumph is how you and I got together. That's how you and I connected, and that's how Rise and Tea started.

Yeah. It it did. You know? It's like all the pain, there was purpose in every ounce of it. And just the way that our paths crossed, it's just been, you know, another testament of God's goodness and that his plan for us is so much bigger and better than we could have both ever imagined.

You know? We got on that phone call, and I just wanted to hear your story. And I heard your story, and I was just in complete awe. I mean, I was in tears listening to your story. And then you asked for my story, and I said, well, do I have a story for you too?

And, you know, it was just in that moment. Something in that moment was already being birthed that we had no idea. We just had this little idea of doing a guest, you know, as a as a podcast to come on and and talk and share, you know, our journeys with, you know, the stem cell rabbit hole that we were both going down. And it turned into no. Like, that was a divine appointment because God was bringing together two warriors to go out there and to spread the good news and to spread hope.

And it's just been so beautiful, honestly, watching all these dots being connected of what God really has for us and the impact that we are that we already have on the kingdom and so much more that we're gonna get to do. I'm just so humbled to be here, honestly. We haven't, you know, we haven't known each other for years, but I feel like, you know, we have. I feel like you're my brother from another mother, obviously, because I'm a little bit darker than you. I mean, know, I just I feel like we're we are just like kindred spirits in that, you know, what better two stories for God to pair up than to you know, some of the biggest miracles that Jesus did when he walked the earth was healing the lame and the blind.

You know, like, what two better stories for God to bring us together for the whole world to watch, you know, happen right here in 2,025, you know, over two thousand years later when Jesus walked the earth doing that himself. It's just it's been incredible, and it's just it's so humbling to to be here and to do this and truly be a servant of of God and who he's called us to be.

Yeah. You know? So, like, when you and I first made an introduction, it was through a stem cell company, and I was looking for someone to hop on and tell their story on my platform because, you know, I've been through a lot of things when it came to like medical things. I was actually in the hospital today. You and I actually got on the phone and had a conversation.

So, you know, going back to that day in, like knowing that it connected us through, you know, the research that we were both on its same path to figure out how stem cells are going to help us. Then leading to this point, you know, it's, it's amazing. You know, I tell people all the time, your God works in mysterious ways. You know, I, I never thought that I would have been in a rabbit hole so deep trying to figure out how to reconstruct the human body to, you know, get results that people say are impossible. People tell me all the time, well, you can't do this.

I don't believe in it. I can't God. So as as I was going to that path and figuring that out, that's when you and I connected. And then you told me your story, what you're going through. I was like, this girl's got a grit to her.

She got she's got edge. She's got passion. She's got this. I think the first time you and I had a conversation was like, this girl spiel with the holy spirit. Like, I don't, like, I don't know anyone that's, like, this true and compassionate about, you know, the way you speak.

I mean, like, you can speak inside of a a room and the walls will get blessed. I mean, you know, like, you're just powerful with it. But, you know, it's it's been it's been an amazing journey, an amazing path leading up into this episode, leading up into the release of Rise and Sea, and it's only gonna get better from here.

It is. It is. And, you know, like, going through all these weeks of, you know, back and forth and planning and then, you know, the devil tries to get his foot in our minds of thinking, you know, should we really be doing this? And it's like, god already laid the foundation out. Right?

But it's just like we get that in our heads, and it's like, oh, I'm not I'm not good enough. I don't you know, what if it's rejected? But if this is really and truly, Joshua, if this is just for one person out there, then we've already done. Right? Like, we truly have already done enough.

And I know that it's for way more than one person. I truly know that, but that that's where my heart is. You know what? That's where my heart is. If if this is just for one person, then we've already done then we've already done more than more than enough.

But I truly know and I truly believe that this is so much more than that. God has already spoke to both of us in different ways confirming with each other and our thoughts and our visions for a rise and see that this is so much bigger than we could have ever really truly imagined, you know, getting on that first phone call of, I'm Jenna. Hi. I'm Joshua. Right?

Like, this is just this is just the beginning of something so much bigger being birthed. And I I truly cannot wait for people across the globe to hear stories, not just our stories, but other people's testimonies and get to really dive into Scripture and like pick apart and truly understand what ure means because so there's all these different interpretations and but that's what it is. It's a living word. So what it speaks to you can speak something totally different to you and you know, three months down that road because you're going through something so much so different. But getting to talk scripture and talk bible stories and talk testimony and share that with with people, it's just it's gonna be it's I'm already so excited just thinking about it.

And we overcome by the blood of the lamb. We do. And and we overcome by the word of our testimony. And hearing comes by faith comes by hearing, hearing of the word. And so just being able to do that across this platform that God would has already been building you up on through all all these years.

Right? Like, you thought you were just gonna be, you know, in the hunting world, but God's like, no. No. No. No.

Like, I'm building this platform up for you. So now you can minister to all your hunting buddies and all these people that you've been, you know, tied with in the hunting world. You're gonna get to minister them the gospel now. And what truly excites me about that, Joshua, is I truly believe, and this is not my opinion. This is biblical, that men are supposed to be the leaders.

Right? They are supposed to lead families. They're supposed to lead the homes. They're supposed to lead in all of it. And what excites me most is that most of the hunting world, which there's a lot of women on there too.

Right? Like, I love hunting. I love the outdoors. But most of the outdoors and hunting is catered to men. And so you're going to get to share that with men who maybe they are on fire for God, we can bring them on and they can share it to you.

But maybe they've never heard of Jesus or maybe they have this, you know, misconceived idea of who Jesus is, who God is, or they've been church hurt because let's be real, we can all be hurt by people, churches, because they're people. They're gonna fail us, but our God never will fail us. And so maybe they just need a refresher, but I'm so excited to watch all these people that you've walked alongside with in the hunting world now get to watch you show your testimony and praying that they are transformed through hearing the testimonies, and they'll get to go lead their families to Jesus. And they'll be, you know, taking their family to church, and they'll be ministering to their families at the table. And I'm just so excited to get witness all the lives that are going to be changed.

And one day when we make it to heaven and we get there, they're gonna be like, there's Jenna. There's Josh. That's why I'm here. Like, that is what excites me most. Like, our number one mission, and we've shared this back and forth, you know, through these these months of planning Rise and Sea.

Our number one mission is to make heaven crowded, and I'm excited. Like, I'm ready to I'm ready to go.

You know, I absolutely love your energy and, like, your spunk and passion for all of it. I mean, like, it brings life to me. Like, not only myself, but it brings life to so many other people that just hear your story. Because, like, we haven't even really dove into, like, your story, but, you know, just the the the fact that you've overcome so much, you've dealt with so many cards that most people just would have quit. I mean, like, you push through and make such an incredible outlook, like no pun intended, but like you have an incredible outlook on life because you've been through the struggles.

You've been through the war. You've been through the fire. You've been through so many things in your life and you're just like, alright, cool. Like, God's got me. Like, I have a miracle child.

I have an incredible husband, incredible life. Like, I'm good. Like, maybe I don't have, like, full vision yet, but I'm still hopeful because he's given me things that other people have said were impossible. You know? So that and like how passionate you are for more is so amazing.

Like, it's truly amazing to see that, Jenna. And going back to this thing of like, talking about the hunting issue, like, I didn't I that was not my plan by any means. Like, being shot at the age of 13 and the coming back and dominating inside of an industry that I, I probably should have avoided, you know, shot hunting, you know, I turned a career out of it. Like I probably should have avoided that one, But, you know, I didn't. And I stayed on that path, you know, just like the same thing with stem cells.

Like, there are certain things that I was told and told, hey, like, don't do this, like, misled. But, know, that that that blind faith that just go through and trust God and His plan, it's incredible. Like, I don't like, I get it. Like, people can tell you stuff, but when God speaks, he speaks. You know?

It's up to us to listen. You know? It's up to us to listen. And going back into the the part of, you know, using that platform, like, I always go back to the part of, you know, we're supposed to be fishermen to men. And when you brought that part back up, it's like, alright.

Like, I don't even like fishing, but I get it now. Like, let's go catch nets and let's go break. So let's go bring him in. Because, you know, if you feed a man a day, he'll only eat for the day. But if you teach him how to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

If we could teach him how to get closer to Jesus, he will be in the kingdom forever. So let's go fishing.

Yeah. And, you know, that's so true. And, you know, it's like and once, like, we make disciples, like, it's their job to go make disciples. So it's like, you know, we start with one, and before we know it, like, they make disciples, and they make disciples. And then before you know it, there's a whole entire, you know, small can like, huge community that can build up underneath you that are just they're there because of one person, one seed was planted.

Right? And it's our jobs to plant the seed and pray that they're watered and they grow. You know? And I and I truly get that that this podcast is not gonna be for everybody. I pray in my spirit that it is.

But, you know, being realistically, like, people are going to reject us. You know, people are going to mock us. People are gonna make fun of us. They're going to try to pick it apart, but that's okay. Right?

Look. They did the same thing to Jesus. Right? And and it it's not and I don't and I don't take it personal. Right?

Because I know in my heart of hearts that that is not a flesh war. That's a spirit war. And I'm ready for it. You know, going up into this before Rise and Sea was launched, I mean, you know personally because we're, you know, good close friends, the attacks that were coming spiritually. And it was hard.

And but you know what? I was like, nuh-uh. No, sir. I am not I'm not powering down. Like, if if anything and I and I've shared this with you before.

But if anything, it just pissed me off so much more at the devil and made me wanna go so much harder for the kingdom of God. And instead of instead of buckling, like I kind of wanted to in the in the beginning, I didn't. I I stood up and I got I got knocked down, but I came back up swinging, and I swung hard. And I was like, nope. Nope.

Not losing my character. I'm not sinning. You know, it says in the bible, be angry, but sin not. And when I say I wanted to flip the devil off with both fingers, I wanted to. That night that it was it was a horrible night with my horse getting killed.

I wanted to flip the devil off with both fingers, but I told my husband, I said, I will not do it. I will not do it because that is going to give the enemy so much satisfaction for me sending, and I'm not going to go back to places that I was delivered from. And so I started stomping the ground, and I stomped the floor so hard. I I had to stop because I was like, I'm about to knock a hole in the floor. But, you know, it was just that reminder of, devil, you've already lost.

Like, you're not gonna win. I'm not even gonna let you think you've won because you've already been defeated. You were defeated the moment Jesus took the cross. You know? And so he has no authority in my life.

He's no authority in your life. And whoever's listening to this, you need to know that he has no authority in your life. If you are a child of God, if you have the authority to tell the devil to go back to how he belongs because you have that authority being born again in Christ. And so we have to learn that as believers that losing is not an option, because as long as he has the battle, we've already won. He has, he has won every single thing he does.

He's victorious. And so because he's victorious, we can be victorious. So if they're in you know, this is going back to, you know, our diagnosis of, you know, never walking and never seen again. I'm saying phooey to that because I have a God who says that the impossible is possible. And, you know, it says we are healed.

Isaiah fifty three five, by his stripes, we are healed. Not that we may be healed, not that we could be healed. It says we are healed. And so that is something that I hold on to every single day, especially in the hard times when, you know, it feels like I'm just getting hit in every single area because I am because I'm such a threat to the enemy and you are too. And if that's you, if you're looking at this and you feel like you're just getting hit from every single area, it's because there's a calling and a purpose on your life that the enemy is scared of.

And he's gonna try everything he can to do to get you discouraged and get your focus off of the cross and what Jesus has already done for you because victory is yours. So stay on that promise and hold tight to it and don't ever let it go. Even when it feels like everything around you is shaking, make your faith be unshakable because that is what scares the enemy, and that's what makes God proud.

Jenna, I'm not gonna lie. You keep speaking like that. I'm gonna turn this AC down because you are on fire. You're pranking about it.

I'm I have a passion for this because, you know, I I would say I've walked through the fire, but I'm still walking in it. And I think that that's what makes this more special for people listening is because you're in the same boat. You know? We're not we're not coming to people from the finish line. We're coming from them right in the flames of the fire.

But the beautiful thing about that is as long as we have Christ, as long as we have the holy spirit and we have god with us and we're not, you know, running and we are being obedient, god's not gonna lift his hand, and we're not gonna we're not gonna stray from that on our on our own with lifting his hand because he's there and he's welcome and he knows that. It says you know, it says in his word, you know, draw near to him and he'll draw near to you. So walking in this fire, we can walk through it and come out untouched. You know? We might feel the the heat from the flame.

I'm not gonna say that because this life's not easy. We might feel the heat from the flame. So we're gonna we're gonna come out unburnt. You know? We're not gonna come out stinking like burnt flesh.

We're gonna we're gonna come out maybe a little toasty, but we're gonna but we're gonna come out untouched by the flames because because we have someone who has overcome everything. So that that that's what I'm here for. I'm here to encourage. I'm here to bring hope to the hopeless, to find the broken, and just love them where they're at. You know, it is our job to love, not judge, not criticize.

It's our job to love. You know, we don't have to love the sin. There's many people that I love dearly. I don't love their lifestyle. I don't love their sin, but I love them.

And it's not my job to condemn them. It's not my job to, you know, criticize or judge. It's my it's my job to love. And that's how that's how we win people to Jesus. We just simply love.

You know, I'm gonna go back to a joke that you said earlier just because, you know, this podcast mean, yeah, it's face driven, but, like, we'd crack up. We have fun. We joke. Like, you say you're darker than me. I mean, listen.

Like, I might have been in the fire a little bit longer than you because I I got a really good tang going on. Like, I I've been through the ringers of the ring and fire.

Okay? Obviously joking.

But, no, I I'm right there. With you. I mean, like, you know, with your life story and my life story, I mean, we've both been through a lot. Mean, we've been through hell and back and we're still pushing forward because we know there's a greater purpose at end of it. You know?

And then we know that with this this podcast, with this platform, what we're doing, Rise and Sea, we wanna make sure that we can give that to everyone else that that's interested or even involved. And I I get it. You know, there's gonna be people that don't want to be involved inside of it, but I get that. That's fine. You know?

It's it's not gonna be for everybody. And that's okay. You know? Someone is reached and they can, like, say, hey. Because of Rise and See, I made a decision to change my life.

I'm totally fine with that. You know? Or if they share it with someone else and that person was inspired, that person was, you know, led to do something incredible. I don't even I don't care if it's just, you know, listening to this podcast and going out and feeding someone that's homeless because you felt led to do it. Like, I mean, the bible speaks about feeding those that are poor and unfortunate.

You know? So, like, if that is the simplest thing that this podcast could do for someone, I'm totally fine with that.

Yeah. Same same here. You know, I know it's talking to me for everybody. I I pray that it is. And I pray that, you know, when they when they tune in or what they hear that, you know, it speaks differently specifically to what they're needing to hear from God.

You know, at the end of the day, like, we're just me and you are just two open vessels who allow the Holy Spirit to speak through us, and we can plant all the seeds, but it is their job. At the end of the day, it is their job to go seek the father and say, God, I'm yours. Like, come have your way. Like, you know what I mean? But it's our job to plant those seeds.

And so as we're planting these seeds, like, we're and I know you are too. Like, we are both praying that these seeds are being watered because the peace of god, you can just not explain it. Right? Like, I know for you and I know for me, like, we are walking through these trials and these tribulations, but there is nothing. There's absolutely nothing that can take my peace away because that peace comes from God.

And that peace that comes from God is so important. And there is nothing worth letting that peace go and disrupting it. Nothing.

You know what? Like, when it comes to, you know, planting those seeds, you know, we have to when it comes to planting seeds as a farmer and I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna tell him gonna kick this one back here to the part of I watched the chosen other day, this is far enough episode, so I'm gonna steal a little bit of a life from there. It was talking about, you know, when that planner plants those seeds like that to make sure that it's planted in soil and not thrown on rocks because it will not grow inside of those rocks. You know, still, even though we are planting seeds, it's our mission to make sure they're water.

You know, God's gonna take care of he takes care of the land and everything on it. But, you know, as we perform and as we produce this podcast, as we go to speaking events, things like that, you know, it's our job to keep pouring into other people. You know, we're lucky and blessed. I mean, even though it doesn't sound like it. I mean, like, you have a blindness, I'm paralyzed.

Like, we're so blessed to have overflow that we could bless other people with it. You know? So being able to do that, like, that's what we're ordering those seeds. You know? The seeds of telling people by God, but still pouring into them and giving them their hopes for more.

Like, that's what's gonna start that garden. I mean, it's a garden of Eden. I mean, I think that's what it was built off of. Like, those individuals that just wanna grow and prosper and just be something way more because they believe it's something more.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, the thing is is, like, every single one of us here on this earth has a purpose in our called. Like, God formed each and every one of us in our mother's womb. Like, he has our whole entire life out.

He knows every single thing. Right? He gets called each and one of us, and it's it's our job to, to respond to that and to, you know, if someone doesn't know their purpose to go, to go find them and help them walk through this life because none of us were meant to walk this alone. And some others, you know, others have harder lives than others. You know, all of our lives are different, but it doesn't change the calling on our lives and the purpose we have.

You know, I've I've honestly found that the messier the testimony, the higher the calling. Right? And and I can personally attest this because I've lived a life full of sin before I fully turned and ran back to God. And we'll get that into that in a whole another episode of podcast. But but it you know, but it's but it's I I think it's very important to be open and transparent and vulnerable because I believe that there is healing and revealing, whether that is revealing to myself, whether that is, you know, revealing stuff for someone else to hear.

Because let's be honest, like, the hardest conversations we ever have need to be with ourselves. It needs to be, like, open, raw transparency time sitting down with God and saying, God, like, show me, show me what it is that is inside of me that needs to get out. Show me what needs to be exposed because the pride I have won't let me acknowledge that. Right. And I know this firsthand because I was a very prideful person before I was very humble.

And so but, like, we haven't had those conversations, and so there is healing and revealing. And I'm not saying, you know, go tell the dirty your dirtiest secret to the whole world because that's not a great idea. But I do believe that there are certain people in certain circumstances where God will call you to be uncomfortable to tell that messy part of your testimony so someone else can know that they're not alone in it and can know that there's hope of calling out of that pit. So I don't even know how I got off on that. But

I think I think it's that that fifth cup of coffee or ADHD, which I'm totally fine with because I'm in the same boat right now. But going off of that message, you know, it's it's the message is in the mess, you know? So I think we should definitely have another episode and just say, you know, talking about those those moments where we were lost in that darkness, in that wilderness because, you know, going into that wilderness and then I I feel like a lot of people have been into it. But if if you don't look for a way out of it, you'll stay inside of it. So I think that those messages inside of that that podcast itself or that story itself are going to be so transparent, but it's also gonna be so for so many people because I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you, my backstory, it's not, it's not clean.

It's not, you know, I didn't have Tide Pods inside of my pocket when I was going through it, you know, so it's definitely not clean, but it helped build me because I knew what I had been through and I knew what I was using to cope and I knew what I was doing to run away from God. Then once he stopped, all right, I understand that this is something completely different. I don't need X, Y, and Z. I don't need to cope. I don't need to do these things to help me feel temporarily happy for a moment.

So going into those going into that mess and explaining it, expressing it to other people, there's so many people that's gonna connect to that in general just because of the simple fact we are human. We do so much of the same thing. It's a pattern. It's it's it's society. But, you know, if we can say, hey, listen, I did x, y, and z and reach someone and told them how we came out of that.

Absolutely tell that story. You know, there's a message in the mess.

Yep. That's so true.

Go ahead. You know, every piece testimonies, if we can definitely dive into those stories, send it full send. You know, I like to reveal it, you know, because revealing cause healing. I mean, that's the you get to home run, Jen. I mean, like, you're stacking them up today.

You know, going back thank you so much. Going back to, you know you know, running from God and the, you know, when the hurt comes and the, you know, the tragedies come. And, you know, that is exactly what the enemy wants you to do. And that is exactly why he puts these things in our way to get us to stumble and to hurt us and to get us discouraged because he knows that he can get to the weaker vessels. And I and I don't say that lightly because that was me.

That was 100% me. When something bad happened, I turned to everything but God and doing the word. And so but he knows what makes us tick. Right? Like, because he's a watcher.

Satan is a watcher. And he sits and he watches, and he he plants these, you know, these horrible tragedies and these things that happen in our lives, and he waits to see what makes us crumble. And he takes notes. He's a notetaker too, and he knows what gets us. And so, you know, he these bad things happen, and it's not because God doesn't love us.

It's not because he hates us. It's because there's sin in the world. That that is the reason why bad things happen and not because, you know, God wanted that to happen to you. But during those times where we we turn and we run, it's it's given Satan more ammo, and it's given him more notes of what makes us tick and what makes us crumble. And it's in those moments that we have to fully have that transparent conversation with ourself.

You know? Am I gonna keep running back to this when this happens? Am I gonna keep, you know, just like you said, going to this temporary fix that fixes me for, you know, an hour, a day, or whatever it might be, you know, going back to that, or do I truly want to be set free? Do I truly wanna be healed? Do I truly want to be whole?

You know, we talk about sozo, you know, healing to the uttermost. And you can't have that in worldly things. You just can't. Trust me. I know.

I've tried it. I know just about everything, not everything. So, mom, if you're listening, that's not completely true. But I have, you know, turned to things that were just temporary fixes. When it, you know, it kinda came down to, Gina, what do you want with your life?

You know, do you wanna keep getting the same results with the same actions? Or you can lay it down and you can be set free. And that was that was really going back to, you know, remembering those moments of growing up in church as a little girl and being filled with the holy spirit and knowing knowing what I should go to, but not wanting to be disciplined in it. And this is something that I say all the time, and you've heard me say it multiple times on phone calls with you, that there is so much obedience, so much reward and obedience. I'm sorry.

So much reward and obedience. And even when it's hard, even when you know that you can go get a quick fix and make you happy, if it is not glorifying God, don't go back to it. Do not go back to it. And I speak from that from experience too. You know, going back and turning to God in the beginning of this whole journey with my vision and stuff, I was I was being picked apart layer by layer and little by little.

And, there were moments in the beginning where I would, you know, still turn back to sin that gave me, you know, a little bit of enjoyment or a little bit of, you know, satisfaction or peace or whatever I thought was peace. Right? It wasn't. It was just a lie from the enemy. But, you know, going back to those looking back now, it's like, why would I why would I have gone back to that knowing the outcome, knowing that it wasn't gonna be, you know, for a long time, knowing that it was just a temporary satisfaction?

Why would I do that? It's because the enemy knows us so well. He'll dangle exactly what we ran to right in front of us and get his foot in the door in our minds and get us get our focus off of Jesus. And that was the same exact thing that was, you know, he was trying to do this last time when it was just like a week, literally straight from hell, it felt like, with the spiritual warfare going on, you know, about to release rise and see. And that's when I was like, nope.

I wanna flip you off, but I'm not. And I buckled down and I fast ed water for a week. And I dove harder into the word and I dove harder into my prayer time. And, you know, going back now, but there was so much reward that came from that obedience and doing that and not falling back and keep pushing forward. And so it's just it's not easy.

You know, it's an everyday thing. We get up and we every day, I'm like, God, today, I die to myself. Like, my flesh dies and I'm reborn again because it is an everyday decision. You know, it's not just like, oh, I wake up last week and I said I was giving life to God and it's all rainbows and unicorns and it's just peachy. It's not.

It is not. And whoever tells you that is a liar. They are a liar because I know you know this for a fact. But, you know, once we fully start giving our lives to God and we fully start diving in, the target on our back for the enemy is so big because now we've become a threat. Now we've become a threat through his kingdom of darkness because we're spreading light.

We're spreading love. We're spreading, you know, the good news of who Jesus is and what you know, how God really loves us. And so we become this threat, and we have to make sure that we are armored up every single day in the word of God where we have, you know, the shoes of peace on and the helmet of salvation and the belt of righteousness. You know, we have to make sure that we are armored up every single day to fight off those arrows of the enemy because they're not gonna stop. They're not gonna stop.

But I will say the more and the the more that you dodge those arrows and you fight them off with scripture like, we don't entertain Satan. Right? Like, we fight them off with scripture. Like, we learned that from Jesus in the wilderness when Jesus was fasting for forty days. And, you know, Satan was like, well, you could just make this rock into some food, you know, whatever.

You know, get some water. Jesus didn't entertain it. He would he didn't sit there and say, oh, that bread sounds so good. No. Like, he fought Satan off with scripture, and that is exactly what we have to learn to do.

Jesus was here to be an example, and we have to reflect back on that. So when you don't know what to do, when you don't know what to pray, you dive into your word. Like, that is the Bible is a love letter from God to us. Like, it has scripture, and it has stories. It has ways to deal with stuff even from, you know, today's stuff.

Even when back when Jesus walked through the earth, it is still a road map of how we're supposed to live and how we're supposed to handle things. There's that.

I absolutely love it when you ramble. Not a lot. There's so much information that you just unpacked inside of all of that. Yes. I don't know where to start with that.

So I'm I'm gonna hop back into that. Gonna hop back so many lessons learned. So I'm gonna hop back into what you said about, you know, those run into those things that were temptation. So for me, being inside that outdoor scene, other industry. So I had I had I'm not gonna say fame.

I hate that word. It's it's not it's not that. But I was

But let's be honest. You were kind of famous. Right? Like Look,

it was I had a I had a very successful career, You know? And, you know, still to this day, man, I still have my success inside of it. You know, for me, it was it was a pride thing. Like, I was so caught up in my own pride, my own ego because I was trying to prove something to myself that I was better than my past. I was better than those things that were holding me back.

You know, when when that gets inside of you, that is something that's so hard to let go of. You know? It it wasn't the fact that, you know, that I was the best. I mean, I was very humble inside of a lot of aspects of that, but to myself, I was prideful. Like, I knew that I had to do so much more to prove something to myself that I was better than that kid that was 13 years old that, you know, was shot.

You know? And then in holding on to something like that, it's tough. But when Yad steps in, he says, let it go. You don't have a choice. Like, there there's no choice to do it.

And, you know, going back into, you know, the surgery that happened in 2022, like, a lot of things led up into that. You know? Like I said, I I I think that that pride and that arrogance was was there and what led to that. I mean, I went in because I had a bullet fragment in my left shoulder that caused my left arm to go paralyzed. Doctor's And like, hey, listen.

Like, we're gonna do a back surgery. Then woke up and neither one of my arms are working. So I was like, okay. Like, now you have my fully undivided attention. Know?

So in in those moments, you know, where I felt like I lost everything, I didn't I I gained everything that I needed to gain.

Yes. Yes.

Because things that I lost was that pride, that arrogance, that ego, that that that want to be, you know, better than myself because I knew who I was. I knew who I was becoming. That growth inside of it and, you know, being inside of those moments of of loneliness, you know, that's something that truly changed me in remarkable ways, man. I spent two years inside of, you know, rehab facilities, hospitals, things like that. And I didn't want people to even know that I was inside those places because of that pride, that arrogance, that ego of, like, not wanting to be weak, You know?

And I think as men, I think we hold on to that so much. And I I love the fact that this is, like, men's mental health month because this is, you know, one of those things. Like, as a man, it's so easy to be prideful in yourself because you don't want to have someone looking out on you for what you're not doing. And that's what it was for me. But when when Yahya came, it's like, hey, listen.

Like, I need you to just stop. You know? I I I need you to pump the brakes. I have something more for you to do, but you need to let go of you. You know?

And so that in it all was such it was eye opening. It was a reward. It was such a a relief to be like, okay. Like, this isn't my show. Like, I'm I'm this is I'm not I'm not quote unquote, you know, the celebrity.

I'm not the I'm not the famous. I'm not the the attention grabber. Like, that's not it. Like, I'm in the back seat now. Like, Jesus take the wheel.

And let me tell you, he's taken the truck wheel. He is taking the wheels on my chair. And sometimes, you know, takes him to where I can't even move. And I'm like, and I have my wheel back. But, you know, at this it's like he moves in directions that you need to be shifting in, especially when he has, you know, that purpose on your life.

And, like I say, you know, you just talked about, you know, Fuego, you know, your horse that passed away and and he was attacking me. I remember when I was down in Texas, and I have a love hate relationship for Texas. Like, don't get me wrong. I love it, but there's some things about it that I just don't like. Like, I was searching so hard to be something that was calling me away from what I was doing.

And to be completely honest with you, I I wanted to be a I wanted to be a cowboy. I wanna ride a bull. Like, that was my goal. But I was like, you know, I'm gonna text to get fixed. And the only thing that really came out of that was it was me getting rid of a lot of pride, a lot of anger, a lot of, you know, those things that I was holding on to.

It took a reality check for me to get those corrected. And when I say reality check, I mean, went into the hospital in Texas and the doctors were like, all right, we're going to pump you with all this medication and we'll see what happens. I mean, I spent in a matter of ten days, I went from, you know, going in for like a simple UTI and they put the wrong antibiotics in me. They put 60 pounds of water weight on me in three days. They filled me with Dilaudid fentanyl.

Like I hallucinated for like four days. And once I finally came to you, I was like, alright, got get me out of here. You know? Like, they my kidneys were failing to put me on dialysis. I'm like, alright, got get me out of here.

And, like, once I said that, he was like, alright, leave. And, like, when I did that, you know, the doctor came and she's like, You're going die in seven days. You're going to be dead in seven days. And I remember hearing her and like another doctor outside the room just like cackling about it, like if it was like, I don't know. It was it wasn't meant to be, but, know, I I can feel that attack.

I knew it was there, but I was like, alright. You give me seven days. You're not the one that has the stamp on my life. Like, I'll play with this one. And here's the thing about me.

I am so risky. And I think that's where a lot of my reward comes from because if I'm on an edge, I'm like, for Jesus can make a bird fly, like, he's gonna give me wings at some point. Like, I'm risky when it comes to things because, you know, I I've seen what's possible. I've seen so much even inside of like that aspect of it, you know, learning about stem cells. Mean, I had a hole in my back the size of a basketball.

And the doctor's like, Oh, well, you know, we can't do this. We can't do this. And I put a patch on it, a little patch to help my stem cells and doc's like, all right, well, we don't know what you're doing, but like, you're fixed in a matter of a couple weeks. So whatever you're doing, keep doing it. So, you know, there's so much power in searching for answers that got the price for you.

You just have to listen. And it's so easy to be stubborn, especially when you're so prideful. And I have been stubborn in so many situations that led me astray from where I needed to go. But, you know, it's it's amazing when you finally clean your ears out and listen. Like, alright.

What are we doing?

Yep. Yeah. So true. I was in, you know, different boat, but same same sea that you were in, you know, with being just the pride. You know, I was miss independent, and I wanna do everything myself.

I was living a life that not one part of it glorified God, not one part of it. And I was just living in complete sin. It was before me and my husband were married, we lived with each other and, you know, making a lot of stupid wrong choices and none of it glorified God. But it didn't, you know, at that time, it didn't affect me because I was living the life that I loved. I was, you know, I was at the peak of my career with being a medical aesthetician and I had, you know, a boutique that used me for modeling and I'd been on billboards and I just thought I was the hottest thing in Texas.

And and, you know, it took it took for me to lose my eyesight to fully see who I was. You know, it was those moments that I couldn't even, you know, see to pluck my own eyebrows that, you know, that was my whole, you know, looks were everything to me before that. That was, you know, 95% of my career was, like, looking the part. And there I found my there I found myself. I couldn't even pluck my unibrow.

It was, like, you know, it was humility for me to ask Marcus, my husband, to do it. But, you know, it was that time of being, like, truly humbled to realize that, Jenna, you aren't all of that. Right? Like, you are not all that in a bag of chips. Like and, yeah, it took me losing my eyesight to really fully see.

You know? And that that sounds so crazy, but I I had to lose my eyesight to fully see who I was and that I was so much more than the woman I thought I was, you know, that had it all together on the outside but was truly dying on the inside. Right? Like, I had this outside appearance that it was all together and, you know, hair, makeup done all the time, you know, look dolled up from the floor up, whatever you wanna call it. But on the inside, I was so broken, and I was so lost.

And I was doing everything I could to try to heal and fix myself the way that Gina thought she needed to be fixed and healed. And, you know, it all started with the sexual abuse as a child, and it shaped my thoughts, my reactions, my actions. It shaped everything about me, which was the enemy's number one goal. And let me tell you, he he was winning at that point. And it it took me walking through this trial of almost dying twice and almost losing our baby.

And then I went blind to fully step into that calling and purpose that God had been calling me into that whole entire time. But I was so caught up in Jenna and what Jenna wanted that I didn't care. And so for me, I had to be fully exiled off the island with, you know, being having relied on everybody to, you know, help me from being miss independent to, babe, I need you to pluck my unibrow. Right? Like, it's just but it was in those moments that I truly figured out who Jenna was and who I was supposed to be and that I was a child of God.

And I I had been called and I had a purpose. And it was none of those things that I was doing before. And so it's just a lot of messiness. But when it when it comes together at the end of it, you know, we feel like we have all these broken and shattered pieces because that's what they are. But when we allow God to move those broken pieces back, it becomes this beautiful mosaic piece that we could have never done on our own.

Right? Like, I carried that trauma and PTSD from the sexual rape and abuse from a child all the way into my late teens. And it wasn't until there was one specific service at our church in Midland, Texas at Elevate. And we can get into that a whole another time because that's the testimony in itself. But long story short, I was healed of that trauma and PTSD in an instant, Josh, in an instant that was lifted off my shoulders.

And from that moment on moving forward, I have to this day, I've never had a PTSD episode. I've never been triggered by anything. I've not had any nightmares. I don't wake up in night sweats freaking out, reliving those those scenes of being abused sexually as a little girl. I from that very moment that I allowed god to lift that off my shoulders, he took it in an instant, and I have not looked back ever since.

But going, you know, back up before that, I had tried counseling. I tried therapists. I tried different treatments and therapy rooms. I would read every self help book you could throw my way. And don't get me wrong.

They I mean, they help, but it never stuck. It it never stuck. I would it would help me for, you know, a week or a month or whatever it might be, but it always came back. And it always felt like it was worse when it came back because I had this little taste of freedom, and it just came back like whoosh. And it wasn't until I had finally stopped running and laid everything down at the foot of at the feet of Jesus and let him lift that from me that he could truly work in my life.

And I I get to reflect back on this now because in that moment at that that service, I wasn't looking for heart healing. I wasn't looking for those wounds of my heart to be healed. I was looking for physical healing in my vision and in my pancreas. But in order for God to heal to heal that, he had to heal my roots first. Because can we just talk about this for a second?

Like, let's just go into this for a second, right? Like, what does it truly matter? And this is something that God spoke to me later on, but like, what does it truly matter if I was healed physically, but I was still walking around dead? Like, what would it have really mattered if I would have gotten my eyesight right then, that I would have had a healed pancreas right then, but I never made it into heaven? What would that matter?

It wouldn't. It wouldn't matter one bit. And so God showed me this, you know, few months ago, like he had to heal my root first before he could start working on the external part of my healing. And so now I get to walk in this in this healing of my heart wounds and the trauma and the PTSD and the horrible things that I caused for myself, you know, like I I was healed all of that. Now God can work on this external external part of my healing.

And so now that's where we're at. And now I get to walk alongside other broken people and tell them and show them like, hey, like, you don't have to live this way. Like, that that stuff you're carrying around, you don't have to carry that. Like, that trauma, that's not yours. That PTSD, that's not yours to carry.

So that's honestly, that's where my heart is now. Like, I have such a passion for the broken and the lost because I was that girl. Like, I was that girl who was so broken and so lost, but no one knew that on the outside because I'd masked it so well. I'd hid it so well. But here's the thing.

God sees everything. Like, God sees our hearts before he's he sees anything on the outside. So we can lie to ourselves and to other people around us all we want, but the one who created us knows every single thing that we are going through. He knows every single feeling we feel, and he's just waiting for us to tell him so he can move and fix it. Because he's here's the thing about God.

He's there, but he will never force himself upon you. Right? Like, he's not going to force himself. He might allow us to get in situations where we have no other option but to look up at him, but he will never force himself upon us. That that is the beauty and the curse of of humans.

Right? Because we are so hardheaded and prideful that we have to come to the realization of that we need something else. We need some we need something bigger, and we're not all that in a bag of chips like I thought I was. Like, I needed to be knocked down so I had nowhere else to look but up. So do not do what I did.

I do not recommend it. But if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. Right? Like, there is nothing that we can go through as believers that can steal our peace, that can take any of that away from us. Because if we have God, we all we already have enough.

And that's what I told you, Josh, this on the phone after all of that whole week and then Nipuego died. If if I have nothing else but Jesus, I already have more than enough. Like, the devil can try whatever he wants to do. He's not going to win. Like, if I have Jesus, I have more than enough.

And so we have to get to that point of saying, like, god, I'm nothing without you. I'm nothing without you, god. I'm nothing without you. Like, come and have your way. If my world has to be wrecked for you to come and do what only you can do, then I'm an open vessel.

But you better be ready when you ask that and when you say that because that is an open invitation. But in the end, it says you know, it says in his word, this one also in my favorite verses, Romans eight twenty eight, is that he will work all things good for those who love him and who are called according to his purpose. And I know that God knows that I love him, and I know that I have a purpose. So no matter what I walk through, he's going to turn it for my good. It says that in his word, and he is bound by his word.

God never breaks a promise. He never tells a lie. And so if it says it in his word, then hold him to that and hold tight to that promise. It's another another thing to write down in your notebook there.

You know, guys, here at Rise and Sea, we're gonna give you a lot of lessons, and we're hopefully hoping for a lot of blessings to come out of this. But coming up on Rise and Sea, you know, for what's in the future for Jenna and I, I mean, there's so many things that we've been talking about, so many things that are gonna work. I mean, presentations that are gonna be on social media, presentations that's gonna be on stage in front of crowds. Mean, there's so many incredible things that are in the works for us. But, you know, it's it's our story, but it's God's glory.

You know? So we can't do anything without his full hand on it. So we would love to have your support when it comes to what we're doing at Rise and See. So if you wanna click that share button and send it to someone, maybe they need a message. You know, Jenna and I, we don't hold back.

And Jenna is such a spiritual person. You know, it's absolutely incredible. I I feel like I'm getting a lesson just sitting here listening to her, you know? She's it's but that's that's every time. Like, even when it's just a phone call conversation, you know, that's how that's how it works.

That's how it goes. So if you guys want to stay and rise and see with us, definitely click that subscribe button and definitely keep listening. But, Jenna, going off of, you know, what you just said, you know, and I I know we're we're never running on time here. But in Job, I think our stories are so much like the book of Job, but a lot of people's stories are like that as well. But, you know, going off of that, you know, the Lord give it, then the Lord take it away.

You know? For you, it was, you know, you had the fame, the success, the the successful business. You know, I had all of that as well, but he was holding on to things that just were temporary. They were they were man made items, you know, but I I don't think that we cherish them because we felt like we did it, you know? And after all of that, you know, me losing my my mobility and my arms and just being like stuck.

First off, like I used to make so many jokes all the time about being a vegetable. I don't do that anymore. The power and the autonomy is real. Like I don't, it's just it's real. But, you know, going off of those things that, you know, you're talking about being inside of that moment of of brokenness, you know, I remember remember many a times where I was so broken and empty that I needed something just to, like, fix it.

I didn't care if it was traveling to an event or going to a speaking area, putting myself so deep into work. Like, I'll be honest, I had someone ask me this probably a couple months ago, probably about a year ago. And it's like, when when was the last time you were happy? I couldn't even answer the question. Like, I was so focused on achieving, you know, and and making those accomplishments, making those big moves and getting caught up inside those things that didn't bring anything to my table, you know, that only emptied my vessel.

So using this platform and using everything that we've been through in our story, you know, that is pouring into so many other people. And that brings joy. That brings happiness. That brings life. Because, you know, here's the thing.

If for me personally, if I can go and make someone happy, I don't care if it's just like the an ounce of happiness. Like, I live for that. Like, that was my reward because as a child, I didn't have those things. Like, I had a you know, we'll into this in another section, but, like, my childhood was not great. You know, my dad shot me.

Like, mom's very abusive. She hated men and just whole nine yards. It's just nonsense. So I grew up very quick at a very young age. I didn't trust people.

I didn't like you know, I was very independent, just so driven to prove something to myself. And the only thing that I did was hurt me and hurt people. You know the story, you know, hurt people hurt people. But, you know, when you get to the point to where you're so broken and nothing that you do is fixing you and the only thing you can do is rely on God and Jesus to fix you, you know, that's that's when the miracles start happening. And, you know, for me, I'm going to go back and throw it to a song that, you know, you and I spoke about on the phone.

It was a Cody Johnson song Mop. And, you know, I was at the point in my life where I was just so broken. I was like, you know, make me a vessel that is used for, like, the nastiest, dirtiest thing to humble me, to make me just to where I can't do anything by trusting you, but I know that you're gonna use it to craft something amazing out of it. Make me a mop. Make me clean up the messes that I made.

Like, make me a spoon to where my tongue doesn't speak words that are harsh. Because, I mean, being in the in that scene to where, you know, you feel like you're alone, but you also feel like you have to pull all the weight of other people. And that ego and that pride comes to it. You lose a lot of yourself. I mean, I did at least.

And, you know, finding that back in myself when I got into those moments of being absolutely alone and the only thing that I had was Jesus, it's different. It hits you different, you know? And, you know, I don't know who's listening to this, but someone may be in that season of loneliness. That that's not a bad season to be in. I mean, that's, you know, for me, I was like, okay.

Well, maybe, like, this is this is just it's it. I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. You know, I'm gonna have, like, five, six cats and, like, you know, I thought I was gonna be the lonely cat lady, but, like, that's not that's not designed for everyone. I mean, some people, but not everyone. You know?

But those seasons of loneliness and emptiness, it's not bad. It gets you to where you need to be if you focus on what you need to focus on. And for me, in those moments where I was so broken and empty, I focused on everything that was thrown at me that was easily accessed, that was that was temporary. But once I was like, alright, Jesus, take the wheel. Once those words came out of my mouth, it's like, alright, buckle up.

Sit down. Sit. And I'm not gonna say he said this, but he's like, sit down and shut up because I got the wheel now. But God

says that to me all the time, Josh. He tells me, sis, you need to sit down and shut up. And I'm like, okay. You got Talks to you, but he talks to me real.

I've I've definitely had some of those moments. It's like, probably probably shouldn't you. But I mean, it's humbling, you know, but that's that's the joy of it. Mean, that's where the obedience comes inside of it. Like, that's where that changed, you know, because it's it's that father figure.

And I think for me, the hardest thing for me is I didn't have that. I didn't have, you know, that that supportive father more than a prepared hood at all. So, you know, when when it's like he's telling me to do something, I'm so rebellious at times. I'm like, no. I'm good.

Like, I no. I'm good. But then humble you quick. I mean, like, but it it it it's it's for your own good because if you don't, you'll go on a course that's going to cause so much more damage. And like I said, when when like you said earlier, when the devil say into you, like, can you're just a puppet at that point.

Like, there's there's not much you could do. Like, spirits, like, I get it. Like, so many people battle things on this earth physical, but, like, when you're battling something spiritually, it's a completely different ballgame. There is nothing you can do but open your mouth and pray and say, I need your help.

Yeah. I

I don't I don't need a drug. I don't need a person. I need your help. Yep. And for me, it took so much to ask for help because I was so independent.

I was so not willing to trust. I was so prideful. But when he breaks you, he breaks you. You know, you think that you're broken because of the things you're chasing. No.

No. No. No. When you ask him to break you and make you and change you, he will do every aspect of it. Whether you like it or not, he'll do it.

But at the end of it, he's a potter. And what does a potter do? He breaks down.

Yep. We are the

place. Down to remold it. It. That's it.

What a blessing it has been to do this first podcast. It went so well, but we knew it would because we asked the holy spirit to lead us. But I do just want to say real quick before we hop off that we want to hear your story. We want to hear your testimony. And to do that, all you need to do is to go to our website, riseandsee.org, go to the contact tab, and there's a form you can fill out with your name, email, and then you can write your testimony and send send it in because we wanna hear from you.

We wanna hear what God's done in your life. And, hopefully, maybe here soon, if we get some testimonies pouring in, we can be you know, have some guests on maybe. So but, yeah, this is this is what it's all about. You know, it's not just our testimonies. It's yours too, and we wanna we wanna hear it.

So go to our website, contact us, and send us your testimony because we want to we wanna praise with you. This is you know, your testimony is not not for you to keep it inside. It's it's to it's to share it, to share the goodness of god. So we wanna hear from you. So send it in.

Yeah. It's like Jenna said, go to riseandseed.org and send us your testimony. If you guys are looking for us to do an appearance, speaking event, anything of the sort, please feel free to reach out to us. There's so much information on our website, and we look forward to hearing from you guys. Until our next episode, you guys be good, be safe, be blessed, and this is Rise and Sea.